#tell me the drama about Brenda and that your brother is on his bullshit again stranger

[crab-instruments]

Hi! Anon who asked about your sexuality here! As someone who is personally Biromantic and Asexual I can totally relate to feeling like you don't fit in. Thank you so much for sharing! If you don't mind me asking another question, what got you into writing on Tumblr?

Hello again! I hope you have good people around you who accept your for who you are. You’ll always be included here 💕

I don’t get many asks in general, so please ask away! I’d probably tell you embarrassing stories or read dog breeds in a silly voice a la Paget Brewster if you asked

I’ve always loved story telling and finding the different ways people and objects tell stories. From a young age I had a story that started with a game with a friend and still today I hold onto that story. I once wrote it or started to but that has been lost to the bytes of time. I still day dream and think about it. I’m heavily influenced by music (fun fact: I played the oboe for 7 years) and my schooling involved a lot of digesting the media I was consuming and understanding how art affects people.

I went through a few major emotional events in the span of a few months (outside of like… the world). Leaving an online community I was heavily involved with to switching back to Tumblr was one. Having a major friendship breakup was the second. I was leaning heavily on my hyperfixations and imagination to pull me through. After finding tbbxreader tags I started to wonder what story I could tell (I absolutely involved my childhood OC as a stand in before it was Maxis in DitW). I heard the cover of DitW and I needed wanted to talk about it but the person who I wanted to share it most with was no longer there.

Her loss was your gain cause I made a side blog to post my ideas in the format I read them in. Bam. I didn’t think anyone would really… read my stuff. But I’m happy others enjoy it and respond, especially when people talk about the details and stuff. It also ended up being a good way to get out my feelings since I am bad at them (as seen in the notes of DitW).

God I’m so sorry for writing a novel for each answer. I even told myself to scale back lmao

[throughtheglassdarkly]

Roadblocks, part 5.1

Welcome back. When last you were here, we whacked Aurora and made some s’mores. Onward.

Suffice it to say, after dealing with Aurora for the final time, all of us wanted to just head off our separate ways. I had the most uneventful evening, babysitting Gershwin and sitting at my table with a bunch of notes in front of me, trying to make connections with what Amberleigh was, what the pledge she’d made the other changelings in her service take meant, and if there was anything we could do to help clear it up. I didn’t make much progress – my head was still swimming from everything that had happened earlier.

Pam did end up staying at Brenda’s, watching Turner Classic Movies and exchanging home decorating tips. She told Brenda that she thought her house was charming and Brenda was over the moon because none of her friends liked her house. “You know, I’m kind of glad Day didn’t show up, because I’d never hear the end of it if he saw this place,” she said.

While they were in the middle of watching The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly, Pam felt a needling sensation at the back of her head, similar to how her Fetch occasionally send a message. She let the feeling in and before she realized it, she wasn’t in Brenda’s living room anymore: she was back in her own living room in Minnesota, her husband’s arm around her, two of the kids there. They were having a family movie night. She looked over at Sierra, who wasn’t watching the movie as much as looking over the program for the camp Yova recommended for her. She was going off about how excited she was and showing all the cool programs and activities and all the visiting actors. Pam heard her own voice, but not quite her own voice, in the back of her head: “I thought you’d appreciate this.” The Fetch had heard somehow through the grapevine that something had happened to Aurora and thanked Pam for it.

Pam tried to think hard to send a message about how her Fetch didn’t have to worry any more about Aurora showing up and tearing everything apart. She got a flash of someone sitting in a bed in a very plain, white room with a flower vase next to her. It was very dark; all Pam could see was moonlight coming through the window and the silhouette of the person. But as the figured turned over and started to lie down, Pam got an image of Yova’s old face. Another thought came through to her: “This one might not be so okay. Be careful.” She snapped back into Brenda’s living room right in the middle of the Mexican standoff scene.

Yova herself wasn’t entirely all right, either. She headed over to Marigold’s place, not in the best headspace and still clad in the bloody clothes she was wearing. It was her first time going to Marigold’s apartment, which she said was absolutely precious, including the giant autumn wreath on the door. Marigold was in a plaid nightgown and her hair was down around her shoulders in thick waves. She was delighted to see Yova, but clearly concerned about the bloodstains. “You’re just in time, I made some cocoa, if you want some!” she said. “That sounds lovely, darling,” Yova said. Marigold asked if she wanted whipped cream and Yova just managed a nod.

Marigold poured her a lovely glass of whipped cream with a few tablespoons of cocoa, and as Yova sat down, she realized her shirt was still covered with blood. She kicked herself mentally. Marigold seemed to realize what was on her mind and asked if Yova wanted to throw it in the laundry. They had some nauseatingly sweet banter about how Marigold’s nightgowns would be about the size of one of Yova’s shirts, then Yova kissed her forehead and took off the shirt, having a tank top underneath.

“So is this something I can ask about or is it not good?” Marigold asked hesitantly after a second. Yova leaned back, sighed, and said, “I’ve mentioned to you briefly the changeling who coaxed me beyond the Hedge? Well, she didn’t just coax me. She dealt with me directly, but either directly or indirectly, she was responsible for my entire motley being sent into Arcadia. And we confronted her tonight.” “Oh. So the blood is…” “Hers. I, uh, I suppose you could say I struck the killing blow. A Summer courtier took care of the body. One less loyalist we have to worry about. I’m glad we got to her when we did. She was in the process of making another Fetch. She was planning to take someone else soon.”

Marigold’s eyes went wide, then she squinted. Yova could see a few tears starting to form. She kicked herself again, apologized and went in to hug her. Marigold hugged back as tight as she possibly could and mumbled something into Yova’s shirt, though Yova couldn’t make it out since it was muffled to hell and back. Yova rocked her gently, humming to calm her down. After a minute or so, Marigold looked up, apologizing and saying, “You shouldn’t have to do things like that. None of us should have to do things like that.” Yova looked at her dead serious and said, “If it means keeping you safe, keeping the rest of the Courts safe, keeping my friend’s family safe, I don’t mind doing it.”

She wiped away a few more of Marigold’s tears and said that she didn’t want to be alone. “No. No, you shouldn’t be alone,” Marigold said, extracting herself and showing the cocoa at Yova. “You’re going to drink that and then I’m going to put something on the TV that’s a little funnier than what I was watching.” Yova put her arm around Marigold and said, “I came here because I wanted to be with you.” Marigold turned the color of an overripe tomato. Yova suggested that they just get caught up on whatever Marigold was watching and Marigold launched into a full explanation of Outlander. They settled in for a lovely evening of snuggling and watching fine period costume dramas.

Day had been spending most of his time staking out Bella’s family’s hotel. He’d gotten a tip that Aurora had been checking them out, so he was hanging out in the lobby, ensuring she didn’t show up. After a full night of nothing happening, he made his way back to his apartment to see a very sulky Bella sitting on his doorstep. When he approached, she looked up and said, “I brought wings and beer so you won’t kick me out right away.” “Okay. Wanted, hunted, or pregnant?” he asked. “None of the above,” she said. “Good, otherwise I’d say no. Come in.” His apartment was a sophisticated blend of dirty, messy, and filthy, though the kitchen was at least fit for sitting in.

Day took one of the beers and gave Bella a bottle of water, then told her to spill it. She told him the story of going to Aurora’s Hollow, finding the Fetch of her brother, and how she felt like she deserved to kill Aurora instead of Yova. “I wanted to beat the shit out of Yova for no reason. So I came here,” she said. Day stared at her for a good minute before he said, “Okay, so you went a little crazy. So you decided to lash out. So what? I know you care about all of us. I mean, that hasn’t changed, right?” Bella said that she felt like crap and Day told her that’s good, because the feelings she had before weren’t real. “If they were, you wouldn’t feel like that. So count your blessings and know that regardless of whatever you do, you’ll be forgiven. ‘Cause that’s what that whole motley bullshit means,” he said.

“So you’ll forgive me even if I clean up this shithole you call an apartment? And I put things in bags and places with labels and designated spots so you know where things are?” she asked, beaming up at him. “I’ll ask forgiveness over your corpse,” he said. They debated going to one of Day’s favorite classy joints, Beef, for Legs and Kegs and Eggs, but Bella said she just wanted to die. They agreed to just watch an old movie, eat those disgusting wings, and hang out.

And so a few days passed. Some of us had work, others needed to decompress, but we were all avoiding each other for the most part. It was Pam who sent out a group text, telling us we should meet to have brunch. The conversation went like follows:

Day: “Brunch?”

Me: “There’s alcohol at brunch.”

Day: “I’m in!”

We ended up meeting at Pam’s suggestion at a lovely little spot by the capitol building called the Iron Gate Café. The entrance was in an alley between two larger buildings with an iron gate in front of it and a beautiful little courtyard with outdoor seating. It was definitely too cold for that, so we went inside. Pam was the first one there and she got a table. Bella was hanging off Day’s arm and they were talking and laughing. Day ordered a beer and was completely dumbfounded. When Yova and I got there, he looked at us and said, “I don’t know how I never heard about this brunch thing.” He looked around and said, “Let’s see, gay, gay, lesbian, gay… did you guys know about this?”

Yova and I shared a look that clearly agreed we could not break the sacrosanct Gay Pact About Brunch. “You know, there are some things that are just lost to the sands of time,” I said. “It’s a mystery,” Yova said. “We’ve been gone two years…” “Things have changed…” Thankfully, we had a different waitress than the one we’d had the week prior. When he looked over the menu and saw all the different booze and breakfast items, Day was completely delighted. “Damn, brunch kicks ass!” he said.

After we got our drinks in and were looking over the menu, Day looked at us and asked, “So, anybody here pissed at Bella?” I downed an entire champagne-and-cranberry juice and Yova drank a colossal beer, because we were both way too sober for that conversation. After she let out a satisfying but very ladylike belch, Yova said, “I was just giving space where I thought space was warranted. Emotions were running high, there were a lot of conflicting feelings. I didn’t want to insert myself where I wasn’t wanted.”

Bella put down her menu and said that she didn’t know what came over her, that she felt horrible, and that she’d been spending the last few days cleaning Day’s house as penance. Yova topped off both our glasses and knocked hers back. “My concern isn’t your actions, Bella. My concern is that you’ve been out of sorts for a while and it seems like…” she trailed off. “You’re not yourself,” I chimed in. “You’re not yourself and you’re not doing anything about it. That’s my concern. I can take being lashed out at. I’m concerned this is a sign about something else going on that you’re not willing to admit,” Yova said.

Bella sighed and admitted that she knew something was wrong. “But I can’t exactly go to a therapist about it,” she said. “Well, there’s got to be at least somebody in the freehold who has a psych degree,” I said. When I said that, Pam’s eyes lit up, then Yova’s did a moment later. They looked at each other and Pam piped up, saying that from talking to people in the freehold, she’d heard that there was at least one therapist in the freehold in the Autumn Court. Yova asked if I could text Evain, and I pulled out my phone. Our messages are recorded below for posterity.

“JJ! She looks like a beagle!” I said triumphantly. A few people turned to look at me, but I had another drink to celebrate.

After we put our food orders in, Yova asked Pam if there was a reason she wanted to get together. Pam cleared her throat and said, “Actually, it’s about something you’ll want to know.” Yova flagged down the waitress and ordered a few more pitchers. Pam told us about how her Fetch let her know that Yova’s Fetch wasn’t doing well. “I know that. I’ve been calling and pretending to be her sister,” Yova said. “Did you actually talk to her?” Pam asked. “Oh, yes, once. It went dreadfully. She’s – how do I put this…” she trailed off again. “Bonkers?” I asked helpfully. “That’s the word,” Yova said.

After the pitchers came, Yova told us about how her Fetch got thrown into an extremely high-pressure situation and clearly couldn’t handle it. “I think when Aurora took me, she took all of my anxiety and put it into that person,” she said. She told us she checked in about once a week, trying to figure out how her Fetch was doing, and ensuring that she was still in one piece. With that, she looked to Pam and asked if she thought something else had happened to Yova’s Fetch.

“I’m just worried, because my Fetch seemed concerned about her,” Pam said. “Can they communicate?” Day asked. “I saw a vision of her, sitting in her room for now. She turned and looked over. There wasn’t too much to it, but it has me nervous,” Pam said. Yova poured herself another glass, but drank this one a bit more slowly and thoughtfully. Finally, she said, “I have thought to put in an anonymous call to my parents to see if they would come and do anything about her. But I don’t know if that would do anything, or if they would even respond or care or if they’re even in the same place they were when I last saw them.”

Between sips, Yova told us that when she first found out what her Fetch was like, she had a wild idea that they could go on their separate ways, but admitted she probably went about it too directly. “You can say that again,” Day said. I kicked him under the table. “Ow!” he said. Yova asked Pam what she thought she should do. “Do you want me to go and talk with her?” Pam asked. “I have to admit that she isn’t pleasant and probably has the worst parts of me all wrapped into one,” Yova said. Pam said that she thought she would visit, just to try and figure out what was going on and make sure there wasn’t anything that might come back to hurt Yova.

I could see that Yova was actually a little teary-eyed at that, though she did her best to blink them back. “If that’s the case, I can at least drive you up there,” she said. She wasn’t in any condition to do that at the moment because she and Day were completely blitzed. Pam ensured we all paid the bill and got on our way safely.

Neither Yova nor Day were in any condition to do anything that day, so we decided to hold off on any action. A couple of days passed, during which I was being a petty bastard messaging Yova about going to check on her Fetch. She stopped deigning to respond after I sent a message saying, “Hey, Nurse Ratched called, she said we should go check in.” So I realized it was time to bring in the big guns. I called Pam and told her I thought Yova needed a little encouragement to go check on her Fetch.

Click here for part two of this recap.